Announcement: 100 Movies Every Catholic Should NOT See

Introducing: the top 100 movies Catholics should NOT see!

While Catholics have the freedom to watch movies critically, films often distort, mock, or attack faith in ways that can be misleading or harmful. Given the success of the first 100 recommendations, we thought it would be fitting to give our top 100 movies that Catholics should avoid at all costs in honor of the feast of St. Hilarius.

These films are not bad movies in terms of execution, but their outlook and message can be deleterious—proceed with caution! It’s probably a bad idea for us to even name these movies.

Here’s a sneak preview of our first 10!

Soul (2020)

Soul tells the story of a Jazz teacher (as we know, Jazz has voodoo origins—avoid it!) who dies by falling into a manhole and must finagle his way about the afterlife. A few metaphysical inaccuracies might be nitpicking, but Soul takes metaphysical errors to a whole new level! Apart from saying that the soul pre-exists the body, the movie depicts a level of ethereal bureaucracy that borders on the blasphemous—do NOT watch this film.

Inside Out (2015)

You might think that Inside Out is a sweet film about a young girl learning to manage her emotions, which it is. What Inside Out leaves out though is all the more egregious! Instead of delineating the intricately beautiful tripartite division of the soul, Inside Out reduces humans to simply only having passions by neglecting the Intellect and Will. Definitely DO NOT WATCH!

Coco (2017)

There’s actually nothing wrong with the movie Coco, but the Mexican tradition of Dio de los Muertos is quite problematic in itself. The increasing prevalence of Santa Muerte—the goddess Death—as an anti-Virgin of Guadalupe figure means that Coco is too dangerous to consume. AVOID WATCHING AT ALL COSTS!

Up (2009)

While we all love fanciful tales, Up simply takes it too far. A thousand balloons lifting a house? Ridiculous. Talking dogs with social hierarchy that includes punishment and rewards? Give me a break! A heartbreakingly touching montage of a childless husband and wife that bums you out for the rest of the movie? Impossible! Each stretch of the imagination that Up forces you into takes you out of the story more and more until you can’t see straight anymore and you need Carl Fredricksen’s glasses just to see your way out of the theater again. If you value your sanity, don’t watch this film!

Ratatouille (2007)

If there is one movie that will never make you want to eat again, it’s Ratatouille. It’s famous tagline, “anyone can cook,” may be true, but that doesn't mean that anyone should cook—especially not rats. This movie literally teems with vermin. They try to make the rats all cute and cuddly by giving the protagonist all the wit and charm that Patton Oswalt can muster so that you’ll forget that you’re watching a film about rats, but it’s not enough. The rats are everywhere and you will be disgusted. If you want to vomit, watch this film; if you don’t want to vomit, don’t.

Cars (2006)

What is the record for most raunchy double entendre stuffed into a single film? Whatever the record is, Cars is certainly near the top. You can’t go 5 minutes in this film without there being some gag about lightning McQueen getting “flashed” by his groupies or another bit about “convertible waitresses” or “Lincoln continental breakfasts—” they’re all disgusting. If you enjoyed watching Cars, you’re a bad Catholic and should feel bad for enjoying it!

Finding Nemo (2003)

We will be the first to admit it: “Fish are friends, not food” is a great line. It’s pithy, catchy, and quotable. However, we here at the 100 Movies Every Catholic Should See team think that this film is part of a vegetarian scheme to turn everyone vegan—and we won’t stand for it! Fish are food, not friends.

Monsters, Inc. (2001)

Frankly, this movie is just too scary. Don’t watch it.

A Bug’s Life (1998)

Similar to 2007’s Ratatouille, this film is absolutely disgusting on so many levels, we can’t even get into it. Bugs are everywhere. Bugs are gross. There’s probably a bug on your shoulder right now. If you like getting into the creepy crawly insect world and going on some sort of heartwarming hero’s journey that has captivated audiences for almost three decades, you might like A Bug’s Life. But it’s not worth it. Don’t waste your time.

Toy Story (1995)

The grandpappy of them all, this film is atrociously, flagrantly, notoriously evil on every level. Toy Story was the beginning of a 28-year long plot to get people to bring their kids to see Lightyear which, ironically enough, isn’t quite as bad as people say it is. Toy Story tells a story about toys—you would think they could have spent a little more time coming up with a better title—and then takes this story and turns it into a touching coming-of-age-film about maturation, friendship, and parting. Why would you want to watch that?

Thus concludes our preview of the top 100 films that Catholics should not see. We probably shouldn’t have even sent you this list because now you’re just going to watch them! Filthy sinners!

Editor’s Note: Have a happy April Fool’s day ;) Sorry if you’re reading this and you were all ready to storm the comments!