'Barbie' Review

Touching story of female empowerment or pink feminist hellscape?

Alright, guys and dolls, after two months of some of the most in-your-face marketing this world has seen in the post-pandemic moviescape, the highly anticipated Barbie movie has arrived.  Girlfriends across America are donning their pink crop-tops and dragging their boyfriends (oh, excuse me, their “just Kens”) to enjoy what was advertised as a fun summer romp about the iconic fashion doll they all grew up with.  

And then the conservatives saw it, and they said it was woke trash.  

“Show, don’t tell,” is oftentimes said of Christian movies that make it a bit too obvious that they are explicitly Christian films.  Your protagonist goes to church and a literal sermon is thrown in, with all the bells and whistles, summing up the message of the movie.  (Bonus points if the title of said movie is somehow wedged into the sermon.)  It’s not a story — it’s a message with a couple of plot points.  Well, if you take feminism, drench it in pink, tell Ryan Gosling to get abs and bleach his hair, and throw in a rough, though a bit confused, storyline: Barbie is born. 

That’s not to say that every scene is bad, nor that the movie overall isn’t entertaining.  Aesthetically, the movie is well done.  Jaqueline Durran (costumer for 2019’s Little Women and 2022’s Batman) designed the costumes and worked with Chanel, and they’re perfect.  As a fashion icon, Barbie is known for her intricate outfits, and they are translated very well into the real world.  The colors are saturated, they’re fun, and there’s a whole lotta pink.  Even “Weird Barbie,” played by Kate McKinnon, has an authentic Barbie look — she’s the Barbie that was “played with too hard” and ended up with marker scrawled across her face and in her chopped-off hair.  The sets are great, and they look exactly like the Barbie Dreamhouses you were either lucky enough to have or the one the neighbor kid had that you pined for.  

Obviously, all the men who were being dragged to this film justified being dragged because they were going to see Ryan Gosling, who was perfectly cast as Ken.  When Ken was first released, he was basically an accessory to Barbie.  His outfits coordinated with hers, and his accessories were related to Barbie’s activities, meaning he was never a doll in his own right.  Even in this movie, Ken’s job is “Beach,” which means he spends most of the day sitting around at the beach waiting for Barbie to grace him with her presence.  Despite Barbie’s apathy, Ken will follow her to the ends of the earth, or at least, to the ends of the plastic dreamworld they inhabit.  A himbo to his core, Ken must go on a journey of self-discovery which is equal parts ridiculous as it is deep.  

Then we have Allan, the little-known doll that was released in 1964 as “Ken’s friend” who could fit into Ken’s clothes.  He is little-known no longer:  Allan is perfect.  In fact, he seems to be the only character in this movie that has a decent script. 

Speaking of the script, while large swathes were clever and entertaining, it appears that for  equally large swathes, the writers took to feminist Tiktok and lifted angry 14-year-old girls’ rants about being a woman in the 21^st century and the “difficulty” that poses.  They clearly didn’t want to diverge too far from the inspiration, because a teenage girl vilifies Barbie for “pushing the feminist movement back 50 years.”  There is an additional rant about how difficult it is to be a modern woman in the Western world for about two minutes — straight.  A snarky comment by the narrator at the end of the movie heavily implies that women have no power in the Real World (as opposed to Barbieland), which conveniently overlooks a Congress that is one-quarter women, a Supreme Court that is nearly half women, and a female Vice President (though, in fairness, it’s easy to forget about her as her appearances are few and far-between).  The Patriarchy is discussed almost like it’s a tangible thing, an evil presence to be snuffed out, because, as we all know, men are oppressors and once they get a taste of power, they will use it for evil.  

Such is the overarching theme of the film:  Women have too many standards to live up to, and men are controlling (but incredibly easy to manipulate).  If you watch a little more closely, though, there are additional messages in the movie:  you have to find out who you are outside of your relationships, humanity (despite its flaws) is beautiful, and mothers sacrifice a whole lot for their daughters, but that’s beautiful too.  

So, is it the fun Barbie movie we all expected, or is it the woke trash conservatives say it is?  Well, neither, and both.  

Yes, the film is feminist, but I wouldn’t necessarily say “woke.”  Thankfully, this movie didn’t touch on the queer ideology other than to crack a few jokes about Barbie’s lack of genitals, and the employment of Hari Nef, a trans actor playing “Doctor Barbie.”  Seeing as Doctor Barbie was merely a doll, and technically, if you try hard enough, you can squish a Barbie head onto a Ken body, I was fine with that under those circumstances.  

If this movie had been just about the Mattel dolls, it would have been the fun movie that was advertised way back in May, and there are definitely elements of that fun movie in there.  But it’s tarnished with enough feminism to leave that microplastic aftertaste for far too long. 

RATING: 2.5/5 stars

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS (SPOILER WARNING):

The parts of this movie that were touching included Ken realizing who he was as a person.  The Real World Patriarchy gave him his first steps, misguided though they were, towards autonomy away from his bedecked-in-pink counterpart.  When Ken attempts to take over Barbieland and reshape it into a world of men, Barbie realizes that by ignoring Ken, she was ignoring his desire to be needed, or even wanted, by another.  Though she isn’t in love with him (a disappointment), she helps Ken to realize that even without her, he’s “kenough.”  

In the end, Barbie, following the classic hero’s journey, decides she doesn’t feel like Barbie anymore and would prefer to remain in the human world.  This is likely brought on by an interaction Barbie has with an elderly woman.  While sitting at a bus stop, Barbie turns to her, and says, very genuinely, “You’re beautiful.”  The woman breaks into a huge smile.  Later, Barbie is shown visions of what humanity is like, and her visions are normal, everyday women, most of whom are mothers.  Barbie opens her eyes and gives a wholehearted “Yes” to becoming human and being a woman.  If you want to be optimistic about it, those feminist tirades weren’t enough to keep her from embracing womanhood and the genuine sacrifices that it can entail.